


Petals In Tatters

by HazelFoxz



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood, Character Death, Crying, Death, Grieving, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Sad Ending, Sorry Not Sorry, We Die Like Men, no happy ending, sadboi time, very light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 13:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20447567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelFoxz/pseuds/HazelFoxz
Summary: Caleb knew that he would fall in love with Mollymauk from the moment he met the tiefling. He just didn't think it would be this painful.Aka. Caleb has Hanahaki Disease for Molly, Angst Ensues





	Petals In Tatters

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, fair warning I am a terrible beginning and ending author, so those will be a little rough. 
> 
> Next is TW!!!   
Burning houses, Caleb typical self-loathing, fake character death, real character death, very light mentions of blood, and nightmares  
Make sure to be safe and I hope you enjoy the Story :)

It was pitch black all around him, why was it dark? Where was everyone? 

Caleb felt his pulse begin to pick up as he felt the movement of air all around him. Slowly, he also started to hear the sounds of a battle raging around him as well. But why couldn’t he see? He distantly knew that he had dancing lights around, and that the rest of the Mighty Nien were near him, but all he had was the cold floor of stone beneath him and the scent of blood starting to clog his nose. 

Then there was a shrill scream.  _ Nott. _ Caleb abruptly stood up, not even realizing he was laid on the ground. Once he stood up, vision rushed back into his senses, but his other senses had changed.

It was hot, burning. Caleb almost relaxed from the familiarity of the burning house in front of him. But as soot and ash started to suffocate him, as it always did when he was here in his mind, he caught a glimpse of bright colour in the fire. 

Caleb forced himself not to give into the dream and started moving towards the burning building, his hearing catching up as he got closer. There was screaming, but screaming that was all too familiar for Caleb’s liking. He heard Nott and Jester with their high pitched frightened yells. The distant yells and grunts of pain from Yasha and Fjord. Even the harsh screams of Beau and Molly. 

Why were they in there?! The Nien weren’t there, that wasn’t possible. And yet, as he stood an inch away from the flames, he saw the face of that flash of colour. It was no one but Mollymauk in front of him, smiling sadly, not matching with the screams Caleb could hear. Caleb tried to talk to the tiefling, tried to reach out to him. But the wizard couldn’t move.

Distantly, he realized the screams from his companions were starting to cut off, only Molly’s remained.  _ Not you too, please just step out please!! _ Caleb tried to say, but he couldn’t get the ash out of his throat, he couldn’t force the words to the surface. The flames continued to lick around the tiefling and Caleb could only watch as Mollymauk started to walk into the fire more, moving from Caleb’s line of sight. 

Caleb wanted to scream, he wanted to follow, to reach out, anything! But he couldn’t, all he could do was watch the flames as Mollymauk disappeared into them. The last scream stopped, and finally Caleb was allowed to crumple to the ground. 

Caleb wakes from the dream with a start, sweating profusely. He frantically looked around. He was in the tavern, Nott was sleeping in the other bed, Frumpkin was curled up at the window, no one was burning. Caleb let out a shaky sigh of relief as he rubbed a hand across his face. Everyone was fine and alive and peacefully sleeping. Jester, Fjord, Yasha, Beau, Molly, and Nott were all fine. They were all here. Mollymauk was alive. 

Before the real relief could set in, Caleb felt the familiar clog of his throat and flew off his bed and into the washroom across the hall. As soon as he closed the door behind him, he quickly, but none the less painfully, hacked up the usual white flowers. He sputtered and coughed for a bit after the worst of it had passed, and was soon left with a bloody pile of Gardenias and a horrendously sore throat. 

Caleb scowled at himself in Zemnian as he tried to think of a way to clean up his mess. However, his train of thought was abruptly cut off as a knock that he knew by heart came to mock him in his state of distress, hitting softly against the door. Caleb felt the flowers start to claw up his throat again.

"Caleb? Are you in there dear?" The gentle voice of Mollymauk called out, muffled even more so by the door.

Caleb's heart wrenched at the tone, while also picking up into an increasingly panicked rythme. He couldn't let the tiefling find out. Why was he here in the first place?? Molly should be asleep. Well, Caleb should technically be sleeping as well, but now wasn’t the time for him to be too analytical. 

Caleb tried to open his mouth to reply to the tiefling on the other side of the door, but all that came up was a hacking cough and more bloodied flowers. Why did he have to fall in love with this obnoxious tiefling out of everyone else he could have gotten this disease from. 

“Caleb are you okay?” Molly tried again, his voice holding more worry than before. 

Ah, it was because he was much to kind for Caleb, the wizard thought bitterly as he wiped the blood from his mouth. 

“I-”Caleb started before clearing his throat, his voice had really gotten raspy ever since he started choking up whole flowers, “I am fine Mollymauk.” 

“You can’t bullshit a bullshitter dear.” Well at least Caleb had tried, “I am going to come in.”

“No! No, Molly you don’t need to come in!” Caleb rushed out quickly as he heard the door knob twist. Luckily, the tiefling decided to have some decency and not just barge in.

Caleb started to cough up more Gardenias as Mollymauk made a noise of confusion, “Caleb seriously what’s wrong. You are worrying me.” 

“Molly-” Another hiccup, “Mollymauk it’s okay. I’ll be back to my room in five minutes maybe. Nothing to worry yourself with.” Caleb tried to keep his voice as even as possible. However, that task was getting increasingly more difficult the more his heart sped up and the more flowers that jammed themselves into Caleb’s throat. 

“Caleb, you are obviously not fine and this is the last time I’m asking before barging in.” Molly commanded, his tone firm. 

Caleb’s heart sunk into his stomach in an instant. Molly couldn’t come in. If he came in he would see Caleb on the ground by the stupid flowers that plaugued his days, he would see the pitiful state he was in, he would make all the right connections, and Caleb would die from it. Mollymauk was clever, the tiefling would know. But the wizard couldn’t think of a way to keep Molly out, and resigned himself to his fate. He knew he was going to die eventually, he just thought he’d at least be granted the peace of being alone when he did. 

The ginger let out a lengthy sigh from where he sat, making no move to clean up the bloodied petals around him. 

“Fine.” Caleb rasped out biterly, not bothering to raise his voice at all, “Just close the door behind you.”

Caleb could almost feel Mollymauk’s apprehension as the door to the tavern’s washroom slowly creaked open. He didn’t look at the door, he kept his gaze towards the floor. He heard Molly let out a barely audible gasp from where he stood by the door, and Caleb refused to look at the man he had come to love. Caleb was a selfish man, and he would prolong his death as long as he could. 

The wizard felt Molly crouch down next to him, but the tiefling didn’t reach out, he just sat there. Always so gentle. 

“Caleb…” Mollymauk’s voice was barely a whisper, “How… how long?”

Caleb almost laughed at the question. It had multiple answers really, for being so simple. Since the moment they met, Caleb was almost guaranteed to love Molly, and yet he didn’t get the burden of choking everyday until two months ago. He assumed Mollymauk wanted the second answer. 

Caleb let out a hiccup and a petal before responding, “Two months.” His voice was just as quiet, if not softer, than the tiefling’s. He wanted to try to put any emotion in his voice, but nothing came. He was just stating facts, reciting things that should already be known. 

Molly let out a small shocked noise besides him, but Caleb paid it no mind. 

Surprisingly, they both sat in silence for another minute or so, before Mollymauk spoke up again. 

“Who is it?” 

His voice was just as soft as the first question, just as hesitant and gentle, but Caleb still bristled with the little energy he had left to care. 

Instead of lashing out though, he just sagged with a bitter smile, and shook his head. He was on his deathbed, he had every right not to answer his love’s questions. Mollymauk didn’t deserve to go unanswered, but Caleb was never a kind man. 

Molly just let out an understanding breath, and moved to his next question, “Well, have you been in love before?”

Once again, Caleb bristled a bit. The real question was had he survived the disease before, but Molly was still being his kind, shining self. 

“Ja,” Caleb murmured in response, surprising himself a bit, but he might as well play along with their little game. He probably wouldn’t see Molly in the morning, after all. As that thought came to him, he lifted his head to finally look at the tiefling before continuing his answer, “But I didn’t get sick before.” 

Mollymauk was still just as beautiful as he has always been, and the wizard doesn’t know why he expected any different. The tiefling almost lit up the dreary and depressing washroom just by being there. He looked worried and concerned and sad all at the same time, and still made the air just a drop more joyful. Caleb almost smiled at the thought. 

Molly nodded a bit, before dropping his gaze towards the mess surrounding Caleb, “Do you need help cleaning up?” He asked with a frown.

The wizard did smile at that. Molly was a perfect being in his dreary life, and he was happy to spend his last moments right here. He could feel the flowers squeezing his lungs and could taste blood in his throat, but that didn’t matter right now. 

Caleb shook his head in response, “Nien, I’ll probably be in here a little while longer. I can deal with it, but thank you for the offer.” 

Molly looked back to Caleb and put on a small, but genuine, smile. The tiefling nodded, signifying the end of their whispered conversation. Caleb felt like body was being burned up from inside out, and almost wanted to beg Molly to stay, but even facing death the wizard wasn’t that stupid. Instead, he looked back at the ground, and dropped his smile. 

The ginger continued to stare at the ground as Mollymauk stood up, planted a quick kiss on Caleb’s temple, and left the washroom, shutting the door behind him. 

As soon as Caleb stopped hearing footsteps, he started to hack up everything that had been contained. His throat was tearing apart as he coughed up full flowers, stems, thorns, blood, and muscle, adding to his grotesque pile. After a minute of continual pain, Caleb tried to stop himself to breathe, but found that he couldn’t. 

_ Oh,  _ he thought to himself,  _ I guess I’m dying now. _

Had this happened an hour earlier, Caleb probably would’ve been scared, but he had found his closure. He’d said his goodbyes for the most part. 

He let himself have some introspection as the pain continued to tear from his lungs to the floor in front of him, never relenting. He would miss everyone, but they would be better without him. Nott knew that he had something like this coming for him, he got to see Molly, and the others would move on quickly. 

Caleb hacked and coughed up what might have actually been a lung as he saw his vision fading at the edges. He had stopped trying to be quiet. What was done was done, and he felt a tear prick the corner of his eye as he slumped forwards onto his pile of Gardenias and lost consciousness. 

The next morning, Nott found Caleb bright and early. She sobbed by his body for nearly an hour before she was found by Yasha, Beau, and Fjord. Everyone but Beau and Nott rushed to get everyone else, and to move Caleb’s body somewhere else. 

The Nien didn’t have much time to mourn in the morning, and had to bury their wizard in the town’s graveyard. They put some money together to get him a small gravestone, and left the afternoon it was put up. 

The road wasn’t the same, but they would eventually move on. Nott would eventually learn to be close to the rest of the group again. Jester would eventually stop going to talk to Caleb in the morning. Fjord would eventually stop volunteering to take extra watch for Caleb. Yasha would eventually lessen her cling on Jester and Molly. Beauregard would eventually be friendly towards strangers again. And Molly would eventually start talking again and stop blaming himself. The Nien would move on, and in the end, it wasn’t too unhappy of an end for Caleb Widogast. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! And sorry about mistakes im not the biggest fan of editing.  
Anyway, all comments are welcome, and have a wonderful day!!


End file.
